Tujhse Naraaz Nahi Zindagi....

Not so long ago, i posted about questions. Some got answers, some didn't. Those which didn't are still there... some hanging in the air, some pinching for answers, still others which tickle, tease and fly away, only to be back again. And those which did, well, simply come back again... I guess that is the beauty of it all....

Sometimes when both your heart and your mind think that you have it all sorted out, up comes a question... innocent yet innocous. Sometimes when you think that life is finally on track, back it comes to hit you hard at the least opportune moment. For the latter, you can give it in the face. But the former, you can only laugh at, cry about, think deep and hope that it will go away. It does, and it doesn't. At the same time. It's tough, but then, it's life!!

Yes, I went for the best when better was not good enough. Yes, I listened to my heart when mind was not good enough. And yes, I am happy that I did. Can just hope that whatever comes out is good... or should I say, best??

Happy Independence Week (? or !)???

It was Independence day two days ago. People pinned tricolors on their pockets two days ago. Speeding cars oozed patriotic songs two days ago. Guys talked about our Independence two days ago. Rallies and gatherings remembered our martyrs two days ago. The brave soldiers and toiling farmers were saluted two days ago. I received 7 Happy I-day messages two days ago on SMS.

What is striking and stands out is not the fact that it all happened, but the fact that it all happened two days ago.

In a land when marketing strategies involve extending friendship day to friendship week, where Valentine's Day is an awaited 'tryst with destiny (ironic, eh?)' for the youth, where anything from 'Sarkaar ka Bhrashtachaar' to 'Cricket team ki Haar' generates media attention that spans weeks if not months, the Independence day loses its sheen in two days.

When I used to play 'Vande Mataram' on my computer anyday, someone would come and ask 'Why?'. Nobody bothered whether or not today is Valentine day when I played Ishq 'Samundar'. And I am still receiving Happy Friendship Day SMSes.

True, we dish out money for N-Blasts of ours, cry for our soldiers when there is a Kargil, Shout 'Vande Mataram' on Independence Day and Republic Day. But, as N. Vittal pointed out... "Can we afford to be Part-time Patriots?"

Any answers????

Things that I like, and those that I don't...

Things that I like and those that I dont; Doors which were open and those which are yet to be... were as true yesterday as they are today. And yet, the life that seemed choking yesterday feels free today. Luck which seemed out of place seems conspiring in my favor today. Moreover, the mood that i am in today is so much better than what it waas like yesterday .Just because today, there is an effort that was not there yesterday.......

So much for an effort!!!

In perspective........

There are things that you sometimes wonder about. There are things that you sometimes dream about. There are things that you sometimes think about. And then, there are things for which you do all the three...

And right now I wonder, I dream and I think. I wonder how I managed to get what I did. I dream about what I may. And finally, I to think about what this is trying to teach me, where is this all trying to take me. Questions that seem so simple and are yet hold the key to life... questions which you neither feel like running away from, nor do you feel like taking all of them at one and the same time... questions seemingly so trivial at times, yet so deep and far reaching... questions sometimes so objective, but never ending in a yes or no.

And for these, there are only two kinds of answers, as The Tramp told me once.... one that is right, and one that is easy. One leaves things to grow out as they eventually would, and one that dares you to take control of your life... but at a cost.

And once things are viewed from this perspective, there is only one answer that remains...

Hope i got this one right............. Someday i will blog about another. Hope that day comes soon, coz the wait is killing.

In Mumbai, it rains

And it rains, and it rains, and it rains.

I step down at CST and reach the guesthouse, absorbing the dreamy skylines of the ‘Sone ki nagari’, and it rains. I move up and down as the rugged and war torn BEST bus negotiates through typical Mumbai roads, and it rains. I wonder whether or not the safety helmet on my head will adversely affect the once high – profile hairstyle of mine, and it rains. I lie down in my bed, reliving the joys of my first salary, first home, first mobile, and, yes, u got it, it rains.

And when it rains, I think about the last day in college, when I was with the best friends I will probably have in my life… dancing in the rain, forgetting for a while that all this is about to end, on the last day in BHU. About the dreams that not so long ago seemed so far yet so near, and today seem so near yet so far. About how each drop falls and disappears like moments of my life, made memorable by one single moment that changed it all. And how I am swinging like a pendulum between what life offers and what I want. I promise myself that I will get it someday. And still, It rains!!!